I want to live.

It is so peaceful right now.  The only sound I hear is the fan, and it is comforting.

I am tired, but I promised myself that I'd write tonight.

I want a better life.  I'd like to not live pay check to pay check.

I wish that my son could go to school and not have me worrying whether or not I'm going to get "that" call. 

I want to give my son a home.  Not just a place we call home, but an actual HOME.

I want to be successful in life so my son's can succeed.

I want to stop worrying...stressing...fearing.

I want to live my life without doubt.

I just want to live my life.

I want to live.

Lyn Hernandez

Soulful Sounding Singer...

I've known this talented young man for a few years now and I have finally gotten a hold of one of his videos. For copyright purposes I can not divulge the song name, but I can tell you that it is awesome. I look forward to him becoming the superstar within.

 You are a Rock Star DB!

 Warning: The lyrics may contain word usage that may not be acceptable for young children.



http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0IAxe3IhUj1rj3JyWwq9vA?feature=watch

If this is viewed by two, twenty, or two thousand people it was worth my time posting it.  He is totally worth it.

The angels have your back DB!

Lyn aka your Lynnie the Pooh

Friendships.

It's a Saturday morning and the sun is promising a warm and fun filled afternoon.  You jump out of bed, scramble into some play clothes, and head to the kitchen for breakfast.  Not wanting to waste too much time, you opt for cereal.  Quickly, you rush through brushing your teeth, and pull your hair into a ponytail. Dad is reading the newspaper in the living room and mom is reading her book at the kitchen table, so you say "I'm going to Heather's house." out loud.  No one disagrees and you leave to go see your friend. Once you get to her house you see that she is already waiting and so is her sister Amy.  It's time to play. 

Times were much simpler back then.  We didn't worry when children left the house and ran off to play with others. My brothers and I would go off on adventures in the woods.  We would hike to find blueberries, or to find a fishing spot.  Snake hunting and slug exterminations were the norm.  I loved spending time with my brothers.  It was a much needed change of pace when I had met my friends.

Over the years that have passed, I have realized that the conditions of friendships that remain strong and true are those that are loving and trustworthy.  The bonds that tie you with your friends should run deep.  You may feel like brothers and/or sisters, or maybe cousins if you have parents that are close friends.  

You shouldn't worry if you aren't making friends right away.  It's OK to sit back and wait.  The friends you want will be there forever.  They will go for days on end with not hearing from you and pick up from the last conversation you had.  They don't judge you even if you are wrong.  They listen intently while you pour your heart out.  They hug you.  

You, in return, must do the same.

The best part of friendship that I have learned is that it comes from the least likely of places.  I still have my Heather and Amy, but I have gained some truly amazing people in my life.  Don't be afraid to reach out. 

That one person that you smile at in the check-out line might end up as your friend for life. 

You never know.

Lyn Hernandez

9/10/13

Choices.

I want a remote control for my life.  I wouldn't abuse it.  At least I'd like to think I wouldn't.  I just would like to go back to some moments in my life when I could have made the better decision.  Notice I did not state "the right" decision.  I'm finding myself, at this point, caught in a rut and I'd very much like to be Adam in that very cute, yet cheesy movie "Click".  Sorry Adam. I adore you.

There comes a moment before each choice you make that you pause and that's your brief opportunity to choose.  Every time you make your choice you lead yourself down a different path with the hope of eventually ending up on the right one.  The Labyrinth of Life is what I call it.

I would like to go back to grade school and stand up to my bullies. I'd tell them that "sticks and stones may break my bones", but their words really did hurt me. {Yeah...Delete.} I'd find that girl that helped me in the 7th grade when I passed out and my books went everywhere.  I'd like to thank her. {Rewind and Pause}  In High School, when I couldn't seem to fit in anywhere, there were others, just like me, that cared and befriended me.  I thank you all as well.

In my 20's I had a devil-may-care attitude.  I tossed my sensibility aside and just went what I thought would be fun.  At this point my first son was a toddler, Aaron. At this point I should have been there for him, not me. Choices. It was a poor one. I'd love to rewind it, but the path was chosen.  I couldn't go back.  I'd just have to make it right going forward.  Choices.

In my 30's I marry what I thought was the love of my life only to find out I'd be divorcing him 2 years later.  Choices.  I chose to stay with him even though I knew he was as unhappy as I was.  Choices.  We get a divorce, but are now casual friends.  I could have been a bitter person, but I chose not to be.

In my 30's my son Z was not planned.  The best surprise ever. Choice. Neither his father or I were prepared for him.  The choice was there, but there was no questioning for us.  He was happening.  And it's a rewind moment for me when I told him that after 3 tests that "Yes. It is positive."

Fast-forward to the present and you have me and my two sons.  One is a Marine, and the other a sensitive 3rd grader with a love for science.  Both were born out of spur of the moment choices, and I would not change those choices at all.

I am not saying you should make wrong choices to make the right outcome.  I want everyone to just think first, and act later.  Choices can define who you are for the rest of your life.  And I don't know anyone who "wants" to be labeled/branded/bullied ever.

I am now 42 years old and enjoying making others happy.

You rule your life. Choose wisely.

Lyn Hernandez