Choices.

I want a remote control for my life.  I wouldn't abuse it.  At least I'd like to think I wouldn't.  I just would like to go back to some moments in my life when I could have made the better decision.  Notice I did not state "the right" decision.  I'm finding myself, at this point, caught in a rut and I'd very much like to be Adam in that very cute, yet cheesy movie "Click".  Sorry Adam. I adore you.

There comes a moment before each choice you make that you pause and that's your brief opportunity to choose.  Every time you make your choice you lead yourself down a different path with the hope of eventually ending up on the right one.  The Labyrinth of Life is what I call it.

I would like to go back to grade school and stand up to my bullies. I'd tell them that "sticks and stones may break my bones", but their words really did hurt me. {Yeah...Delete.} I'd find that girl that helped me in the 7th grade when I passed out and my books went everywhere.  I'd like to thank her. {Rewind and Pause}  In High School, when I couldn't seem to fit in anywhere, there were others, just like me, that cared and befriended me.  I thank you all as well.

In my 20's I had a devil-may-care attitude.  I tossed my sensibility aside and just went what I thought would be fun.  At this point my first son was a toddler, Aaron. At this point I should have been there for him, not me. Choices. It was a poor one. I'd love to rewind it, but the path was chosen.  I couldn't go back.  I'd just have to make it right going forward.  Choices.

In my 30's I marry what I thought was the love of my life only to find out I'd be divorcing him 2 years later.  Choices.  I chose to stay with him even though I knew he was as unhappy as I was.  Choices.  We get a divorce, but are now casual friends.  I could have been a bitter person, but I chose not to be.

In my 30's my son Z was not planned.  The best surprise ever. Choice. Neither his father or I were prepared for him.  The choice was there, but there was no questioning for us.  He was happening.  And it's a rewind moment for me when I told him that after 3 tests that "Yes. It is positive."

Fast-forward to the present and you have me and my two sons.  One is a Marine, and the other a sensitive 3rd grader with a love for science.  Both were born out of spur of the moment choices, and I would not change those choices at all.

I am not saying you should make wrong choices to make the right outcome.  I want everyone to just think first, and act later.  Choices can define who you are for the rest of your life.  And I don't know anyone who "wants" to be labeled/branded/bullied ever.

I am now 42 years old and enjoying making others happy.

You rule your life. Choose wisely.

Lyn Hernandez