Love thing

Before you read this please note that I am not jealous, or trying to be hurtful to anyone. I am in love with Love. It's just not happening for me. Yet!

What is up with the whole Love thing? I am reading bloggers that are either happily married and/or heading down the aisle to say the famous words "I do". I know that I have some of you that are in the water finding your fish, but what the Hell happened to ME.

I scrolled through my archive, and you know what? Nothing about any dates, or potentials. Do not bring up the whole walking out date....It doesn't count. Still a bit bitter there.

Did you know that in my twenties I had dry spells that would go on for months? Why? I was told by one brave "Ex" that he just thought I was unavailable. Huh? Yes, that is what he said. He thought I was taken because of the way I acted. OK. So being independent, confident, and stubborn was the formula for dating doom in the 90's.

Now what? I am heading into 2010, no man in my future, and I think I may be eligible to become a nun soon. Not that they'd let me. I believe my mouth would be a problem, among other things. I've had a couple of nibbles on the hook, but they failed to catch....my attention.

What I want is probably out there, but not around here. First and foremost he must love children...I sometimes poke fun at its difficulty, but I love kids. I want a man with a sense of humor. He must be kind to all walks of life. No haters. He must understand that I love the creative arts, and be willing to listen to me talk about the arts now and then. Listening...not just bobbing your head like the dashboard trinkets, but actually listening. When I am sad...hug me. When I am excited about something you could care less about...high five me and say great job.

And my #1 requirement for my dream man: You have got to be able to kiss. Not just a peck. None of that slither the tongue in the mouth and whack it back and forth. What is up with that anyway? It also does not count if you ram your tongue so far down your partners throat that they cannot breath.

My perfect kiss was the best ever. Soft and not rushing. I could actually feel electricity/energy between our lips because of how slow he went. This one knew how to make a girl crumble.

And then I married and divorced him. His fault not mine. That kiss was enticing to not just me.

So. Pretty much I am doomed. It's OK though. I hear the elderly homes have a high rate of boom boom activity. I'll just have to make sure I have good insurance, and a very discrete Estate handler.