Date Gone.

OK. So RCG over at Red Curl Girl went on a not so successful date. I thought I'd cheer her up by sharing a not so pleasant dating experience I had.

The timeline for this one is fuzzy due to me trying to not remember and the amount of alcohol I drank after it happened.

My "friend" and I decided to seek other means to the dating world because the fish in our town were polluted and/or taken. So the two of us put ads in the paper where you meet other people/dates.

We had both been drinking when we devised our plan so the Ads were interesting. Who am I kidding hers was hysterical, and mine was B O R I N G (yawn).

She decided to directly quote from a song, and just tack on some personal crap at the end. Some of you may remember "Do you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain?" OK. So you know what I mean?

I went with the I-will-be-honest-and-see-what-happens crap. Honesty brought a bounty of wtf's. I listened to the messages and found some that didn't sound like they would rip my clothes off on sight. After that, I actually spoke to my potentials and set up a couple of dates.

The one I am writing about(The A-hole)is the one that got away.

We were set to meet at a bar(public places are best). I call my crew for back up. They are to sit at the bar but not acknowledge me unless needed.

Doofus arrives that night and we head for a corner table. He is sweet and funny and cute. We talk about everything and I think it's going well. WRONG!

He tells me he has to use the bathroom and I believe him. I use this time to stretch my legs and go see the crew. I get thumbs up and order two more drinks for our table. I sit back down and wait for Mr.Thumbs Up to come out.

Wow. He really had to pee, or he ate something very bad because it's been a long time and he has not come out. Hmmm. His jacket is still here. What is up?

I go to the bar and ask the bartender to send someone in to check on him. (Yeah...like I was going to bust down the Men's room door to check on my not yet boyfriend). And because the bartender thought that this whole "Me" actually dating again thing was funny, he went to check himself.

Poof! He was gone. Yep. I freaked the man out I guess. He left his jacket!!!

I want to think that he crapped his pants and was so embarrassed that he snuck out to avoid humiliation.

At that point it didn't matter. My friends were shits and giggles over the event. Their Lyneeee managed to scare the man right out of the building.

He never came back for his jacket/coat. I still think he is a Jackass for doing that.

Thank you for making me the joke without a punchline.

I am sure you have had your comeuppance.

Oh...Next time...Leave cash to pay the bill.