Tuesday, July 19, 2011

My crystal ball.

My Crystal bowl is the recipient of my current anger management.  I can't say why I chose this bowl, except that it is tied to my failed marriage.  I hated that I could not hold onto something I cherished so much.  It almost killed me to physically release myself from my bond to him.  He was my everything, but I became nothing.

I took to smoking again.  The back story is one I will post later, or maybe I won't.  I wanted to desecrate something that would give me release.  I wanted it to be something special.

Well, he has a lot of my belongings still and the few I took with me I knew I had limited choices.  Light bulb!  He had this thing about getting all the finer things in life.  "Keeping up with the Jones's." is the best cliche that suits this situation.

My mind immediately went to the Crystal bowl.  The damn crystal that I didn't want but he thought would make our home more like others.  What the hell is that about?  I wanted a home not a simulation.

So I defiled the bowl that symbolized our union.  I lit my cigarette, took a few drags, stared at the lit tip, exhaled and then crushed it out in the center where I could snuff out the name of the artist who created the work of beauty.

 No offense to the artist.  The bowl is my art now.  My therapy.


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