Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Foot Monster.

I had another restless night of sleep.  I just love staring at the ceiling pretending to count sheep.

That never works for me anyhow.

Somehow it ends up that the sheep are part of the dinner menu on an Anthony Bourdaine No Reservations episode.

So while I was lying there wondering when sleep would return to me, I realized that my feet had managed to become uncovered.  I freaked out and began shifting the blankets back to their intended positions on the bed.

Whew!  That was close.  Could you image what horrors would have had their way with my unsuspecting toes?  I shudder at the very thought. It's all good now though, my feet are safe.

Yeah I know.  Kind of silly huh?  Lyn is afraid of the foot monster.  I mean, come on.  If a Bogey man, or an intruder were to come into the house, the last thing on their fake/or real mind is not going to be "Let's get Lyn's feet."

I don't even remember when it started, this irrational fear of exposed digits.  I'm sure there is some sort of phobia out there dedicated to such a thing.

I think it stems from my fear of the monster under the bed.  I was always terrified of getting out of bed at night, because he'd get my foot for sure and then suck me under the bed never to be heard from again.

To make matters worse, if my cat Zona is sleeping with me and the feet come out, she immediately attacks the big toe on either foot. Yup.  She latches on and "love" bites me.  Could you imagine what this does to an unsuspecting sleeper?  I've been ripped out of many a good dreams by Ms. Zona.

So you see?  I can't win either way.  Either the imaginary monsters are going to get me, or Zona will do it for them.

My only option, besides therapy and locking the cat out of the room, is to sleep with boots on.

Yeah.  That ought to be real comfortable.



  1. Get ugghs. At least you'll be stylish while you're digits are covered AND you're sleeping!

  2. i have kind of the same fear..its more like that the person who broke into the house is going to tickle me awake using my exposed feet causing me to laugh hysterically, pee myself and scare them all at the same time so they shoot me in the leg and instead of death its just tons of pain and embarassment...

  3. Holy Crap. You two are funny.

    "G" I will catch up with you when you are back from your "vaca". Bring me back some sage if you can.

    Blaez, my friend, welcome back love. You almost made me pee my pants laughing. I missed you bunches.

  4. Nothing worse than feeling like your tootsies are up for grabs. Kitties should guard exposed toes, not chew on them. But then, when do cats ever do what we expect? A cute blog post. Keep 'em covered!