Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Hot date with Mr. Who?

You know what?  I hate injuries that don't have some interesting story behind them.

Kind of like a month, or so ago when I flipped over a child's chair in a doctor's office.

Boring.  Sure it hurt like hell, but it would have been way funnier if it were in a different scenario.

Same injury, but now I'm on a HOT date with Mr. Who-cares-if-he-is-right.  I am in a swanky restaurant that I have been dying to go to for months on end.

Upon us being seated, Mr. Who-cares orders a bottle of wine I've never heard of (Like I'd know a good one from a bad one anyway). I have a case of the nerves, so I've swallowed the first glass down before my Mr.Who has smelled the bouquet of something or other. I'm just nodding in agreement.

Oh great!  I have to pee.  I can't go. We just got here. So I politely carry on with the dinner.

Has anyone ever understood the Wait Staff when they come over and hurriedly spew out the menu?  Why do they look confused when you ask them what was the first one again?

I have now had one glass of water (hoping to offset the wine), two and a half glasses of wine, a tasters snip of something apple like (yum), and one snippet of bubbly sweet wine (Sparkling wine).  Somewhere between the tastings I lost my Pee signal.

Uh oh.  I now have got to go so bad it's ugly. I excuse myself with Mr. Who, and do my best not to race to the bathrooms.  I get to the overly flowered facility and throw open a door to my Pee Heaven.

I am done right . Nope.

You see, they have these people in those bathrooms.  I know that they are there to help you out.  Most people just tip them and never make eye-contact.  They can tell when a fellow female in their Sisterhood is down and needs assistance.

In this version I am falling to my knees as I slide into the Ladies Room.  I am disregarding the Pain I have acquired from my scrambling.  I made it to the toilet.

I did not piss my pants.

Oh crap.  I somehow have to make it back to Mr. Who.

Screw it.  He is probably flirting with the wait staff still.

OK.   Stay away from Pain, but if you see her just kindly let her know she will never take me down.



  1. Stay Tough, and hold that pee!

    Cool Background!

  2. See, now I think falling over a child's chair is funny as hell. But if you would have peed at the same time...Well, frankly I would not have been able to hold my water!

  3. You ain't seen nothing until you've seen a 55 year old woman doing the pee-pee dance all the way through the restaurant to the restroom while managing to keep in rhythm with the piped in music. Now, every single time I hear the orchestral version of Elanor Rigby, I have to pee.

  4. With my luck, when I opened the door to the ladies room, there would have been a line of ladies waiting for a stall.

    Glad you made it and everything was okay.


  5. Did you ever see or hear from the guy again?