Wednesday, October 7, 2009

El Chupacabra: Fact or Fiction

Good evening Guys and Gals. I skipped out on doing this post yesterday because of the pressing evil doll issue that would not get out of my head. Now that my brain has been drained of doll possession I am ready to move on. (OK. I am working on it at this point. Top Chef Las Vegas keeps distracting me. Oh, and I owe Karen a Meme that I got tagged on. Sorry Karen I will get it done soon.)

OK. Where was I? Oh. Welcome to the next installment of Freaks & Frights and Things that go bump in the night. Just a reminder, my investigations are purely for my own amusement and hopefully yours. Tonight's Freak is El Chupacabra. Hey. Get off the floor. You can roll around laughing after I am done. You over there. Step away from your mouse. OK. I promise to release you all after I am done.

El Chupacabra is by far one of the most exaggerated anomalies in my opinion. But what I say doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things. I just like to think it does. So onward I go.

Image from here

My Heritage is from Puerto Rico. According to my Father "El Chupacabra" is BS. His thoughts on this topic were that it had to be a wild dog. Interesting, considering that the photos/images that have been popping up have been dog like. He also said that I am wasting my time investigating something that doesn't exist. I love you Dad.

Image from here

Is it just me or does this next guy look like an ORK. For those of you who have not seen the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy that looks like an ORK.

Image from here

The Chupacabra is also known as a/the goat sucker. Depending on the version of what you have read it stands six feet tall and stands on two legs or is dog-like in appearance with fangs of a vampire. OK. So I gave the two extremes. I did warn you about this being for my own amusement.

Photo from here

If you just thought to yourself WTF join the club. I saw more photos of the same creature and let me tell you folks: It is not a dog! I am not saying that it is the chupacabra that everyone has been tracking, but it most certainly is not a dog.

The Skeptics Dictionary has a wonderful explanation for you all to ponder. I'd love to continue but I have to go protect the chickens, goats, dogs, cat, goldfish, turtle, birds, and hamster. Oh. Wait a second. Yeesh. What was I thinking. I don't own chickens or a goat. Sigh...


The chupacabra ("goat sucker") is an animal said to be unknown to science and systemically killing animals in places like Puerto Rico, Miami, Nicaragua, Chile, and Mexico. The creature's name originated with the discovery of some dead goats in Puerto Rico with puncture wounds in their necks and their blood allegedly drained. According to UFO Magazine (March/April 1996) there have been more than 2,000 reported cases of animal mutilations in Puerto Rico attributed to the chupacabra.

Puerto Rican authorities maintain that the deaths are due to attacks from groups of stray dogs or other exotic animals, such as the panther, illegally introduced in the island's territory. The director of Puerto Rico's Department of Agriculture Veterinary Services Division, Hector Garcia, has stated that there is nothing unusual or extraordinary about the cases they've observed. One veterinarian said "it could be a human being who belongs to a religious sect, even another animal. It could also be someone who wants to make fun out of the Puerto Rican people."

Like other creatures in the cryptozoologist's barnyard, the chupacabra has been variously described. Some witnesses have seen a small half-alien, half-dinosaur tailless vampire with quills running down its back; others have seen a panther like creature with a long snake-like tongue; still others have seen a hopping animal that leaves a trail of sulfuric stench. Some think it may be a type of dinosaur heretofore unknown. Some are convinced that the wounds on animals whose deaths have been attributed to the chupacabra indicate an alien presence. However, they do not attribute the "mutilations" to the aliens themselves, but to one of their pets or experiments gone awry. Such creatures are known as Anomalous Biological Entities [ABEs] in UFO circles.

Those who think the chupacabra is an ABE also believe that there is a massive government and mass media conspiracy to keep the truth hidden from the people, probably to prevent panic. This view is maintained despite the fact that the President of the Puerto Rico House of Representatives Agricultural Commission, Mr. Juan E. [Kike] Lopez, introduced a resolution asking for an official investigation to clarify the situation. Inside Edition sent a crew to Puerto Rico to investigate the ABE story. They allegedly ridiculed the Mayor of Canavanas, a witness to the chupacabra, and basically made fun of the whole idea.

Jorge Martin, a Puerto Rican journalist who describes himself as a "leading UFO researcher," reports that it has been brought to his attention that the U.S. and Puerto Rican governments have captured two of the creatures. Perhaps there will soon be a film on the ABE autopsy to rival the discredited alien autopsy film. Martin cautions us not to exclude other reasonable possibilities.

The ABEs can also be the product of highly sophisticated genetic manipulations by human agencies. A Chinese-Russian scientist by the name of Dr. Tsian Kanchen, has produced genetic manipulations which have created new species of electronically-crossed plant and animal organisms. Kanchen developed an electronic system whereby he can pick up the bioenergetic field of the DNA of living organisms and transfer it electronically to other living organisms. By these means he has created incredible new breeds of ducks/chickens, with physical characteristics of both species; goats/rabbits, and new breeds of plants such as corn/wheat, peanut/sunflower seeds and cucumber/watermelons. These are produced by linking the genetic data of different living organisms contained in their bioenergetic fields by means of ultra-high frequencies biological linking. If the Russians have created this technology, then without doubt the US and other powers have too. Therefore, it is quite possible that the "Chupacabras" or ABEs could have been developed by humans. [Martin]

Martin goes on to report that a chupacabra has been killed and blood tests have been done on the creature.

The genetic analysis so far has revealed that the blood is in no way compatible with human blood nor with any animal species known to science. The traces ratio of magnesium, phosphorous, calcium and potassium are incompatible with those of normal human blood, they are much too high. The albumen/glouline [RG ratio] was also incompatible. The ratios found do not allow the results of the analysis to be compatible with those of any known animal species.

At present, we can't place the sample with any earthly organism. Therefore it could well be the product of a highly sophisticated genetic manipulation, an organism alien to our own environment or perhaps extraterrestrial. [Martin]

I suppose Martin's work is what passes for responsible journalism on some planets in the universe. On the other hand, the sightings may not be all that accurate, the "mutilations" not all that strange, and the evidence for these bodies, autopsies and blood tests remains little more than speculation for the most part. However, one alleged chupacabra was killed in Nicaragua and was examined by scientists at the Autonomous National University of Nicaragua. When the scientists revealed that the carcass was that of a common dog, they were met with skepticism and derision. Nobody wants to read a story with the headline: Chupacabra turns out to be Chihuahua.

Once again I did not write that lovely piece. Kudos to The Skeptic's Dictionary on exceeding brilliance in their craft.

So this concludes tonights exploration of El Chupacabra. Somehow I have a hard time grasping the idea of the Taco Bell Dog being threatening. OK. I bite my tongue now.

Sweet dreams.


P.S. Yo quiero taco bell!


  1. the taco bell dog is cute! i miss thier commercials when they use to do funny skits with him.

    as for the chupacabra... i have a friend who calls her husband's exwife that... to her face even! its hilarious, she got something mixed up in her booz soaked brain and said "i aint no goat fucker" lol

  2. That creature is so ugly and scary.

  3. lol! The Taco Bell dog! Now that's funny!

    Seriously, though, I am fascinated by this story because there are just so many versions and instances. Kind of like the Jersey Devil. I know something must be happening, but I also know there has to be a rational and perfectly natural explanation for it.

  4. I think that what people are seeing are DT(detox) hallucinations. For example, I used to work with a man three years ago who claimed he saw dead people at night. It turns out he would drink a fifth of liquor every day before he went to sleep. About 12 hours later, he would see stuff. One day he pointed to shrink wrap at the warehouse and yelled out "La Muerta(dead woman)." It was just shrink wrap as they lose their ability to see normally. In literature, the drunk Greeks thought they saw a half-man, half-horse but their ability to see a man on a horse was affected by liquor. In the past, fire-breathing dragons(Beowulf, Don Quixote in Man of La Manch by Cervantes), mermaids, sea creatures, leprechauns, space aliens, flying pink elephants were all seen by people having too much to drink. Also in some tropical places like Puerto Rico they don't drink water but Bacardi Rum. Another example was Andrew Cunan, the man who killed Giovanni Versace. He was hiding out on a house boat in a river in Miami. There were 200,000 sightings called into police from all over the US while the manhunt for Cunan was on. I lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico at that time. There were over 2,000 sightings called in to APD and NM state police. I noticed that there are a lot of drunk people running around where Cunan was allegedly hiding. Of course he never left the river boat in Miami.

  5. It's real my grandma killed one on accident she was so scared that she shot it with the paintball gun

  6. Yeah. I would get confused too. I wonder if mystery has driven the readers insane, or to the rank of sci-fi.

    Puh. Puh. Mother May I?